Once every month or so I post a blog about having fun, it’s usually nothing too deep – just fun. Today, I want to delve deeper than I have in the past. I’m not a philosopher, but I have my philosophies, and one is that humans often do things of their own choice that create an outcome that isn’t fun. Let me explain. When you were a teenager, did you ever shrug your school studies and responsibilities? I know I did more than I want to admit. Did you ever skip studying for an exam because you wanted to play ball, fail to complete an assignment because you wanted to ride your bike, or pass on reading a book because there were too many fun things to do over the weekend? Did you ever ask yourself are we having fun yet?
What’s the Point?
Here’s my point, on the surface playing ball, riding my bike, and running wild on the weekend seemed fun, but the outcome of my actions wasn’t. It wasn’t fun to sit in the classroom unprepared for a test, without my completed assignment, or trying to fake that I’d read “The Old and the Sea” (What could be so hard, it’s an old man, the ocean, and something about a fish, right?).
The problem is many of us (I’m not throwing any stones) even as adults haven’t learned the valuable lesson that instant gratification doesn’t always lead to happiness – too often it’s just the opposite. We might not be in school skipping an assignment, but we continue to take actions that in the long run make us unhappy. So, are we having fun yet?
Most of procrastinate and at least for me when I do procrastinate it’s not the little stuff. It’s the big scary things that when I put them off are a weight bearing down on my back and shoulders. It’s no fun. How to Limit Procrastination
I’ve had tasks at jobs that I didn’t apply myself to for whatever reason. When I’ve done this I wasn’t smart enough to know it wasn’t about the task – it was about me. I feel a heck of a lot better about myself when I do my best, regardless of the task at hand, and that’s a lot more fun than slacking. People need a feeling of accomplishment.
The Blame Game
Pointing fingers seldom helps anyone including the pointer. I know when I’ve played the blame game I did so because, damn it, I was right. Trouble is being right isn’t always fun, is it? Figuring out how to improve activities and get the job done is.
Passive Aggressive Behavior
Complaining to others is a form of release, right? I mean, it’s good to let it out, isn’t it? The next time you’re griping to others about a third party ask yourself, is this really helpful or fun?
What is gossip? It’s sharing derogatory information about others with no intent other than to belittle that person. Well sure, that’s fun – not.
Displays of Anger
So, this is where the idea for this post originated. I’ve written about mindful driving, How to Be a Mindful Driver, but last week I didn’t take my own advice. I allowed road rage to overcome me, by the time I got to work I was in the middle of an amygdala hijack. It wasn’t fun.
And here I am again; recently a valued and trusted co-worker and friend asked me, “Do you remember when you were positive all the time?” I took pause and reflected. My answer was yes, I do. Recently I’d allowed myself to become less than positive about little hitches such as the internet moving slowly. I needed to be asked that question because complaining about things out of my control stopped me from taking constructive action, such as going to another task while the internet did its thing. And it certainly wasn’t fun to sit and stew in my own juices at my desk.
Are We Having Fun Yet?
I’m sure there’s more I could list here, but you get the idea. I’m making an agreement with myself. I don’t know if I can eliminate all of my destructive behaviors, but I can try. So the next time I find myself being drawn into road rage, gossip, or finger pointing I’m gonna stop, drop, and roll, and then ask myself, “Are we having fun yet?”