Over the last few years bullying in our schools has received the attention it deserves; children have been bullied to the point of taking their lives. Something needed to be done. Initiatives to identify, educate, and reform bullies in our schools have made an impact. But bullying isn’t only in our schools or among our children—it’s in the workplace. Bullying at the office negatively impacts the workplace. It can make an employee dread coming to work and for some—it’s a living hell. This adversely affects production and performance in the entire organization.
If Someone’s being Bullied why don’t they just quit?
That is an option for the bullied employee; however it’s not always that simple. The employee may have tenure, benefits, and income that is difficult to replace. What if the job market is sparse? More importantly, from the organizations point of view, if a bullied employee leaves you lose a valuable commodity and the bully will find another victim.
- Throwing Temper Tantrums – Even as adults, we have the same reptilian brain we had at two years old. Unchecked by our thinking brain, it can touch off fits of anger directed at co-workers, the company, or a customer.
- Vicious Gossiping – Talking destructively about another’s work, activities, or production, which is often unfounded.
- Destructive Insulting – Calling teammates ignorant, lazy, or alluding that they receive special privileges.
- Not working with others – A bully may refuse to work with someone they’re bullying.
- Right brain/Left brain treatment – Unobserved, a bully may treat targets with disrespect and disdain while attempting to be the ideal teammate when observed.
What If you’re the Target?
If you’re the target, the first thing you must understand is you’re not the problem. If a teammate or superior is demonstrating any of the five behaviors listed above towards you—it’s their weakness, not yours. The worst thing any target can do is live with being bullied or attempt to change to meet the bully’s demands. Although there is only one absolute remedy, leaving the position, there are other strategies that may end the bullying.
- Don’t wait – Don’t sit back expecting the bully to change or worse yet don’t try to change to appease the bully.
- Call it what it is –Don’t sugar coat it—if it’s harassment or bullying name it. Naming it shouldn’t be acrimonious—it should be a statement of fact.
- Talk to the bully– Let them know their behavior is unacceptable, and you will not tolerate such treatment.
- Go to HR – Approach HR with facts. Explain, in business terms, how the bully is affecting performance, production, and retention. Leave emotion out of this conversation. Be a business person.
- Quit – I know it may not be easy, but if there is no other alternative and it’s to the point that work has become miserable—life is too short.
What if you’re the Bully?
If you recognize yourself in the bullying behaviors listed above seek help and advice. Acknowledging that you’re exhibiting these behaviors is one thing—effectively changing those behaviors is another.
- Seek council – The root cause of this behavior may not be on the surface. Counselling often can be found through local agencies and churches at little or no cost.
- Offer an apology – This may be more difficult than you think. Victims of a bully may be relieved when they’re no longer targeted, but they may not be quick to forgive.
- Recognize your actions – To eliminate bullying you first must track when, where, and with whom it happens. Recognizing triggers is the first step to change.
What if you’re the Company?
Your organization experiences bullying at some level. Whether it’s destructive gossip, insulting behavior, or anger directed at employees—it’s there. You may not be able to eliminate bullying, but you can educate your staff about avoiding and dealing with it.
- Go public – Make it known the company will not tolerate bullying. State the consequences.
- Train your management team – Teach them how to recognize bullying and what to do.
- Offer counselling – Offer counselling to bullies and victims
Bullying in the workplace is destructive and costly. The negative environment created by bullying reduces production, lowers performance, and causes employee turnover. The cost of bullying in the workplace is real and can be counted in dollars, pain, and lost opportunities. What has been done to reduce bullying in your workplace?